Catching a Break

You just can’t catch a break!

This was a text message my friend sent me this morning.

“Actually, I did… “, I typed back, smirking slightly as I hit send. Catch a break I did! I’m currently sitting at work, for the first time in two weeks. My right leg is encased in a gray straight jacket of sorts, propped on an orange and white pillow, which was carefully placed on rolling stool beside my desk. (I’m v. Uncomfy, thanks for asking.)

What happened was as follows, two weeks ago I decided to purchase a Penny Skateboard, on a whim. We’d just bought one for my dad the week before, and I’d had so much fun riding it I decided to get one for myself.

Why not? I’m 27, I can do and purchase what I want. (slightly defensive. Sorry)

It arrived Tuesday evening, January 31st 2017 in a long box. I was in a hurry, I’d just left an appointment with my therapist, was slightly pissed off at some events of the day and looking forward to using my fun purchase. I’d also promised a friend I’d meet her for a study date / dinner but wanted to take the board for a quick spin before I left.

After changing clothes, I grabbed my roommate’s hyper pup, tucked my cell phone and keys in my sweatshirt pocket and ran out the door with the board. The initial start was a little dicey, figuring out how to work the dog and board in synch, but by the time we rounded the corner we were rolling at a good pace.

A little too fast for my liking, and as we turned down a second street I was starting to feel uncomfortable at the speed we were going.

“It’s definitely time to slow down before I accidentally kill myself,” I thought as I put my right leg down on the ground. That was literally the last thought I had, before I was hurtling to the ground with the sound of a distinct crunch reverberating in my ear.

It’s a sound I will never. forget.

I laid on the ground for a second, the wind knocked out of me as I did a quick self evaluation. I hurt, but not that bad, so surely that cracking sound was the skateboard. After all, if I’d broken my leg I’d be in much more pain, right? Right.

I rolled over.

My leg continued rolling at quite an unnatural angle.

Yeah, my leg was definitely broken.

I just broke my damn leg.

Fuck.

 

I sat there for a second trying to make sense of what had just happened. Piper was concerned and plunked herself on my lap as we stared off into the distance.

How the heck was I going to get back home? Roll on the skateboard? I attempted to lift myself onto it. That was a definite nope, and letting the hurt leg dangle DEFINITELY hurt. That was out of the question.
I looked at my cell phone, my roommate had just texted me a minute ago, I picked it up and immediately dialed her.

“Hey, I have Piper, but I think I broke my leg, could you come pick me up?”
Yeah, I’ll be right there.

We sat in the road for an eternity. Me thinking of all the implications of this break, and Piper getting her self as tangled as possible in a near by bush. (Can we all take a moment to appreciate the fact that I never let her go during all of this?) 

Eventually I saw her SUV creeping down the street and waved her over.

“Can you walk?”

Dude, if I let go of my leg right now it’s going to flop over!

Ok well, I’m going to have to pick you up.

Are you sure?

What other choice do we have?

Ok, let’s do it.

We secured Piper in the house, got my  purse and insurance card and headed to the hospital. Me giggling (slightly hysterically) that I Erin [Last Name] Was on my way to the hospital WITH A BROKEN LEG. After placing a call to my friend, family and parents; we arrived at the hospital where the orderly instructed me to get into the wheelchair on my own.

That was fun.

The following hours were filled with lots medical staff wheeling me hither, thither and yon, some accusing me of hogging a wheel chair unnecessarily (Because I wasn’t crying, screaming or acting as if I were in pain, which I wasn’t since it really didn’t hurt that badly) others sympathetically looking on, once they reviewed the x-rays.

Bless your heart!

You broke it real good didn’t you.

I do try. Thank you.
I was finally placed in a room once the X-rays had been viewed by a doctor and given pain meds.  This relieved me of the burden of holding on to my leg, but only if said leg was propped up on 20 pillows.

Well, so we will be admitting you tonight and performing surgery in the morning.

Hahahah wut.

I don’t get a cast and get to go home?

(Insert crying emojis here)

Let me double check, but I’m pretty sure we’ll get you in in the morning probably around 8AM. Parents would you like to see an x ray? You can take a photo of it to show her.

So not only is my leg in a million pieces I have to have surgery? I have to spend the night at a hospital? What more could go wrong?

(Never say that btw)

Fast forward some. The surgery went well and I spent a couple restless days cooped in a hospital room on a floor that resembled something from the Walking Dead.

Because I had a shit ton of metal in my ankle and through my tubular, I got to skip the fun cast option, went straight to crutches, with strict instructions to be No Weight on said foot.

Cooooool.

Two weeks later now we’re here. I spent a few days at my parents house, before moving back home. Where I spent my days alternating between my bed and the couch and cursing the side effects of my meds.

I was overjoyed to return to my work (mind you, I’ve only worked here for a week at this point), but now that I’m here I’m am exhausted and more go ready to go home.

The next five weeks are going to be hell.

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